i lost my patience.

[forewarning]: this blog will not contain foul language, but it is scattered with heavy negativity. i try my best to make my blogs uplifting for the most part, but i need this space tonight to rant a little. i do realize i'm being ungodly and petty, and i apologize for that beforehand.

so, as most of you know, i currently work in a lab. i've never been too confident of my patience level, but this job has shown me just how much further i have to go.

there's this dude, russell, i work with [a more precise description would be a 62-year-old almost-bald man who is well over 300 pounds] who could very easily be the most annoying person on the planet. upon being hired last september, my supervisor and fellow co-workers warned me about him. i remember thinking, "how bad could he possibly be?" let's just say nothing i heard about him was exaggerated in the least bit.

i have never had many problems at all with getting along with people. i like to be at peace with everyone and flee from conflict at the first sign of it. i enjoy seeing people happy and rarely ever speak up against someone unless they cross the line. russell, he's a different story. perhaps the Lord is trying to teach me to be patient while also being bold enough to stand up for myself. i'm certain i haven't been wise or Godly in my attempts so far.

you see, everything this man does irks me. his habit that drives me over the edge [more than his excessive internet usage, random bursts of cursing, or his snail-like speed that results in me having to do my work and his too] is his banging on the keyboard. it's so loud that i still hear him with my earphones on and the volume to the max. me and several others have asked him nicely, on numerous occasions, to go easy on the poor 'Enter' key, and he completely disregards us. we even got him a new, silent keyboard [supposedly], and the banging continues. there is no doubt he should go down in history for making the most racket. i used his computer the week he was off and tried to conjure up the same sounds with no such luck.

i, emily hill, blew up at him a couple of weeks ago. i think my exact words to him were, "if you don't stop banging on that keyboard of yours, i think i'm going to pull all of the hairs out of my head!" that wasn't all i said, but you get the picture. while sudden outbursts like this one are new to me, i can't seem to control my tongue with him around. i sit there doing my best to hold my thoughts in for so long until my chest tightens and i eventually explode. Lord, help me...

earlier tonight, i jumped at the chance to leave my usual admitting desk and help in central processing since they were short on hands. i've kept my mom updated on the whole lab fiasco, so she likes checking up on me during the course of the night...

mom: "hey, things going better today?"
me: "well, he's banging again. i've been doing things in the lab today, though."
mom: "what kind of things... sticking people?"
me: "no. pouring urine in different tubes."
mom: "oh..."

oh, the joys of working in a lab. i guess pouring urine does keep my mouth shut.