eternity

my computer pretty much crashed sometime last week, so my parents were nice enough to get me a new one. i've only been using my new mac for two days now, and i would recommend it to anyone. sorry pc, i'm never coming back. i'm done with you.

i always seem to forget my camera, so most of the time my phone is my only way of remembering. i was excited when i learned i could send pictures from it to my computer via bluetooth. here are a couple i took last weekend driving down the road from my house. i love when the sun is getting ready to set.

minutes turn to hours.

if you were the sun,

i'd soak you in all day long.

if you were a song,

i'd sing you 'til the morning comes.

(c) 2009

tidbits

*it's friday! it's friday! it's friday!
*as i was leaving my apartment today, i tried opening the door by pushing the 'unlock' button on my automatic car door opener. that's when i knew that this could quite possibly be a long day.
*i decided to try the 'light' version of the caramel frappuccino from Starbuck's this morning. big mistake. the splenda aftertaste was unnerving. i would advice anyone to go ahead with the extra few hundred calories if they are considering doing the same.
*i went to bed, bath, and beyond today and bought five more paper lanterns for sara's bachelorette dinner tomorrow night. we're planning on having lasagna, salad, breadsticks, and chocolate mousse with wine and frozen margaritas. good times.
*i can't wait to see stephie tonight and stay up late eating lots and lots of homemade ice cream. it's our favorite thing to do.
*i hope it's pretty sunday so i can go fishing.

tied up now, but soon unbound

walking in, looking out

seeing what this is all about

pieces fit, one at a time

learning why these words never rhyme

wanting the good, needing the bad

realizing what we've always had

pushing through, pulling away

waiting for another day

finding him, searching for you

leaning on what we thought we knew

heart uneasy, with reasons unknown

thankfully we're not alone

losing joy, finding hope

some in the songs that others wrote

gazing past, towards the new

leaving behind the familiar view

knowing less, expecting more

not real certain what we're fighting for

throwing out chances, left and right

we wish we may, we wish you might

catching a dream, holding your hand

unaware of how we're gonna land

freedom speaks, without a sound

tied up now, but soon unbound

running in, looking out

we know now what it's all about

(c) 2008

endless, boundless, free

i fished with my new pole this weekend and didn't catch a thing. it sure was fun though. they had dumped tons of bass back in the river from the latest fishing tournament, and i guess most of them weren't biting because they were still in shock. we were fishing for cats, but i'm just telling myself that the whole scenario had something to do with my lack of fishing action. maybe i'll have better luck next weekend.

i've recently been reading The Five Love Languages by gary chapman, and i've discovered my love language is words of affirmation with quality time and physical touch both coming in second. encourage me, tell me you appreciate me, spend time with me, and hug me. that's all i'll ever really need from you.

in other news, i'm beyond happy i don't have to go home to an empty apartment tonight. coop is out of town, so ET and i are roomies again for the entire week! it'll feel like old times again.

if i sang a new song each day of my life,

no matter the lyrics, you'd be the only words i'd hear
and when i look into your eyes,

your light shines through me to the other side of time
endless, boundless, free
(c) 2009

the darker the skies, the brighter He can shine.

my friend, carl, made the statement yesterday, "sometimes you gotta take a couple steps backward to move forward," and i think there's a lot of truth to that.

the Lord has been bringing me through a long season of testing these last few years, and sometimes i feel like this phase in my life will never draw to an end. i'm convinced every test He's put in front of me, i've failed.. multiple times. He's always provided a better, clear-cut path, and i feel like i've been choosing the yet-to-be-blazed trail for awhile now. i've felt every emotion under the sun: loneliness, anger, anxiety, self-pity, abandonment, fear, confusion, self-sufficiency, pride, even hopelessness. i've known the truth in my heart, but i've let my feelings rule me for too long. i've felt hopeless, but Hope abides in me. i've felt like i've traveled down this road to the point of no return, and yet Grace reminds me He dwells within me. it's just time for me to surrender...

though i still feel as if i'm standing in the midst of confusion, i can see how the Lord is turning it around for good. i've become more sensitive to others' feelings and realize all the emotions i've felt can have a stronger affect than i was ever willing to admit before. where i was once abrupt and unsympathetic, i am now more understanding. situations that once found me close-minded now find me open and willing. while i've always liked being as independent as possible, carl's words have stuck with me. we have to sacrifice ourselves in order to let the Lord reign.

with all of that said in a nutshell, i'm considering moving back to gadsden until i go back to school. i love birmingham, but i don't even make enough money to pay my expenses here without my parents help. even if i find a job that only pays minimum wage, i would still be able to save a little money every month. more importantly, i would save my parents a lot. besides, i really need a shift that allows me to focus on passing this darn test to get into medical school...

where You go i go

what You say i say

and what You pray i pray

'cause Jesus only did what He saw You do

and He would only say what He heard You speak

and He would only move when He felt You lead

following Your heart, following Your Spirit

so how could i expect to walk without You

when every move that Jesus made was in surrender

i will not begin to live without You

for You alone are worthy

and You are always good

oh, the beauty of Your name will be seen upon my face, oh God

oh, the glory of Your name will be seen upon our face, oh, God

though the world sees and soon forgets

we will not forget who You are and what You've done for us

-Jenn Johnson

the infectious kind..

The infection was spreading quickly--so fast, the cells were colliding with each other in a mad rush to get to the site first. Like wild fire, the infection was taking over everything she had become and making her head spin. Love is her disease, and she wants to be free.

but don't you walk to me... baby, run.

i had a great weekend. i went to kimberly's, and, of course, we spent the majority of our time laughing. i think i laugh more with that girl than anyone else i know. i'm pretty sure we watched taylor swift's performance of Run on george strait's tribute at least a dozen times. and i have to say, i'm addicted to her grandma's homemade chocolate milk. we went back for another glass before i left this morning. it was fabulous.

if you run into me during the next few days, don't be alarmed. sunday afternoon after lunch, i had a three-layer acid peel done on my face by kimberly's stepmom. i know, it sounds really dangerous. after all, it is 30% glycolic acid. it's actually really good for your face [or any other part of your body, for that matter]. the peeling hasn't occurred yet, but supposedly in a few days, my face will be really red and peeling off. so, if you see a little body walking around with a skull attached to it, it'll be me. i'm pumped.

i learned a lot about the aging process, so here's a quick review for those that are interested:

the younger you are, the faster your cells turn over in your body. as we age, our cells slow down; and therefore, they don't create as much collagen and other important things that do the body good. the glycolic acid speeds up the cell turnover rate and reverses the whole aging process!

i think i'll try to have a peel at least once every month or so. i like the idea of never looking my age.

p.s. check out taylor below. you won't be disappointed.

run