double-standards and marriage and such

I am as flawed as anyone. I have shortcoming and imperfections and am asking the Lord daily to refine me and make me more like Him. Because I'm a thinker, I think about certain things probably way too much... what I've possibly done to hurt someone, what I could have done better in a given situation, etc. And I know I've done my part in hurting plenty.

I've had conversations with several people in the last week or so about something I really, really, really, really, really, really hate. Curious now?

Double-standards. I reaaaaally hate these. I mean, like, really hate them. The things that people get mad at you for but do themselves every single day. The things that cause a friend to not text for weeks or to be short in responses due to feeling like you're not putting in enough effort. (Who wants to talk to a wall?) The things that cause you to feel like you're more privileged than someone else and should be held a little higher.

Here's the fact: we should never expect something from someone that we're not delivering ourselves. Honestly, we don't need to expect things from people period. We just need to give selflessly... wholeheartedly. I know it's hard to give to and spend time with people who are so wrapped up in their own lives they can't even ask about your day, but give and spend anyway. Maybe some people are so scared of getting hurt they close themselves off, but I choose to be open and not closed. I choose to not get mad but to love even when love is not shown in return.

I've learned a lot about friendships because I've been blessed with some great ones in my life, and this is one thing I know. When you have a friend, you know it. A true friend is happy for you, encourages you, prays for you, isn't jealous of you, and doesn't put restrictions on what you can say. A friend loves you and doesn't keep a record of your wrongs. It really is true that miserable company leads to a miserable life and good company leads to a great one.

One other important thing to remember... we always need to check ourselves, but we can't always blame ourselves. We can't control other people, and when we really come to grips with this, the freedom we find is so sweet.

So please, if you're prioritizing your life, don't get mad at me for prioritizing mine too. Deal?

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In other (much happier sounding!) news, I'M GETTING MARRIED TO MY VERY BEST FRIEND IN 17 DAYS!!!!!!!!

I am beyond thrilled to start my life with Kevin as a Hanner. Every day, the Lord shows me something new about him that complements me, and I just really love Him for giving Kevin to me. He has been so faithful to hear my prayers for Kevin and for our relationship, and He has really been working in both of us these last several weeks. I see more and more of His will being fulfilled, and He's given me joy unspeakable!

I wish the best for every single marriage out there, and it would make me SO happy to know people around the world are experiencing this love and joy I've found.