in the pain there is healing.

i recently came to realize something about someone, and it made me sick. it literally made me sick. the details--who, or what, or why--don't even matter anymore. it's just the point that counts. when someone we think we know and have high expectations of disappoints us, it's devastating. in some cases trust can be built again (which is my preferred choice), but there are other times we just have to forgive and let go. the hard part is deciding if we're going to keep holding on and doing what we feel like doing or follow hard after God... even if He is telling us something we may not like hearing.

He may tell us to do something that scares us to death, and He may tell us to do something that hurts way more than we think it should.

...but in the pain there is healing.

while i was talking to God about it all, He turned it back to me. i think He likes doing that most of the time. i was focusing on what this person did, and the Holy Spirit gently reminded me of this flesh i still wear around too. we're all the same... we're sinners... and we're going to get it wrong some days. my job here is to love and seek God so I can hear Him and do what He says... and love people.

love people when they do right. and love people when they do wrong. God knows i need to be loved when i get it wrong. but it's so hard to love no matter what sometimes.

you know, we may give everything we have to give to someone, and it still may not be enough. that's the hard part. we can't fix anyone, only God can. and I pray i allow Him to change me from who i am now to who He wants me to be. i need to be fixed more than anyone.

if we pray, He'll guide us. He has to come through for us... He promised He would and He always does.