Monday, January 30, 2012

life of an admitting clerk.

me: single, married, divorced, or widowed?
patient: single, never been married, good dog... looking for a woman with a boat.

...approximately two minutes later proceeding the awkward silence/light, pretend laughter...

patient: so do you have a boat... or a canoe for that matter?

Monday, January 23, 2012

the heart of the matter

sacrifice is always going to seem hard. of course it is. if it wasn't, it wouldn't be sacrifice. but the One we claim to love deserves it.



i just have to keep reminding myself that this world is not my home.


sometimes it feels like i'm watching from the outside

sometimes it feels like i'm breathing but am i alive

i won't keep searching for answers that aren't here to find


all i know is i'm not home yet

this is not where i belong

take this world and give me Jesus

this is not where i belong


so when the walls come falling down on me

and when i'm lost in the current of a raging sea

i have this blessed assurance holding me

-building 429


'take this world and give me Jesus'... it's so easy to say...or sing... or write. but being faced with making the choice between wrong and right is not always so easy. doing the right thing is hard and will cost us. we don't always know how making a true sacrifice feels until we have to give up something... or someone... or some place that means a lot to us.


the Lord has allowed me to go through struggles so my faith can be made stronger and i can become more aware of His love for me. my struggles, either there by my own will or His, have been turned around for my good. that's how He works. that's just His nature. He is so good to me.

i've told Him that i want to learn from my past mistakes---to take all He's taught me in the midst of my pain to heart. i don't want to keep compromising what i believe to please others or myself but live a life that brings Him glory.


i think these last few weeks He's been testing me. i could be wrong (it wouldn't be the first time), but i think He does that... tests us to see how faithful we're going to be to Him. i want him to know He can trust me. i've failed some lately, but He's also given me the grace and courage and boldness to stand up for what i believe some too. i can honestly say i've taken what i've been through and learned something from it. i have a long way to go on this journey, but i pray that i'll continue to learn and grow.


progression.


Kimberly has been kidding me about my backbone getting stronger and gettin' a little 'rough around the edges.' My nature has always been to avoid conflict, but because i never want to offend anyone or hurt feelings, i've also avoided speaking truth. this has not only been unfair to others but to me.


the last thing God wants for His children is to be taken advantage of. i believe we should always speak the truth... ALWAYS in love.


i just want to be a living sacrifice. i say it and mean it now, even though i know i won't always feel like it later. God sent the ultimate sacrifice for us--His son. Sacrificing can only make us more like Him.


give me Jesus.

whatever You have to do Lord to make me see, do it in me.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

sweet dreams

i had a dream tuesday night, and it ended up happening on wednesday. you can call it whatever you'd like, but i think God likes giving us dreams sometimes for different reasons. i believe this one was meant to prepare me.

what would have normally been hard for me was a lot easier because He had already prepared my heart. i can't even begin to explain how He works or even how the dream prepared me, but i don't have to understand. i just know He flooded me with the peace and love and forgiveness that can only come from Him.

i can do all things with Him on my side. :)