find me where He is.

he reminded me of a remote island you see in the distance

the sky or ocean separating you from that heart-shaped place
something fruitful must reside there but it appears so desolate
side by side, but a thousand miles between


he spoke with words and a voice everyone wanted to hear
and not just hear but listen to, ingest, and remember
he must have been speaking from his head back to his heart
or maybe his declarations were just sounds to him with no meaning
high frequency waves so believable that he fooled himself

and then there's you, polar opposite

emotionally available and unafraid, non-resistant and aware

occupying the tender places with the perfect balance of silence and meaning

___________________________________________

but where is He in all of this?

without Him here with us, the good isn't even that good.

and it's certainly not worth anything.

and i'm worth something, and so are you.

i'm praying you search for Him and let Him find you.

then you can find me and the person you were always meant to be.

Jesus went to church on Sunday

sat in the back and sang the hymns

Jesus went to church on Sunday

but they didn't recognize him, and He said...

you can lay your burden down

you can lay your burden down

oh, maybe you've been kicked around

but you can lay your burden down

-trevor morgan

lost but Found

i share at least two qualities with taylor swift: i have her curly hair and i write honestly (minus the names). if you know me even just a little bit, you don't have to wonder long what's going on in my life if you read what i have to say. when speaking aloud my words get jumbled together, for sure, but on paper the truth comes out. and usually without the whole going around in circles thing.

from a few months ago...

well, this time i done some thinking

and i think i'm done with you

'cause until i get to leaving

it's just the same old me too

well, your mama's gonna cry her eyes

there ain't gonna be no wedding day

what's she gonna say?

when i tell her how i had no choice

the same old you couldn't even raise your voice

and ask me to stay

i wouldn't anyway

...to now

just like the fringe on my boots

you move with every step i take

you walk in front of me to make sure

that i don't fall and break my own heart

'cause with you i could never

just like the leather on my saddle

we get prettier with time

together in the weather

shiny on the other side

polished and changed for the better

with you i'm safe

i follow you just like a shadow

only closer

and if you get tied and bound

i'll find a way to free your hands

i'll wash them clean

of everything but me

sometimes you might get thirsty

so i'll catch the rain

just like the ice in your glass

i'll rattle when you need a drink

you'll never run dry of love or anything

you make me feel like i'm the only girl in the whole wide world

i wanna hold you like a handful of diamonds and pearls

that i guard with my life or die trying

i'll keep you safe

so there's my story in the words of miranda lambert. this time, i think her words do my story much more justice than mine could. i've lost but also found. and those lies, they continued to push and push and push me until i had nowhere else to go but away. sometimes it takes the bad to realize you've got something better. and the better makes you better too... feeling more special, more taken care of, more yourself, and more at home.

...everything is better with you.

this is perfection.

i've got to have this horse painting, somehow.