gentle reminder

i was walking down one of the halls of the hospital coming back from lunch earlier today, and i caught myself thinking how hard it is for me to put my full trust in someone. i like to think i'm a trusting person, but when it comes down to facts, i'm not.

i set my standards so high that people always let me down. i'd rather go through my day with no expectations and be pleasantly surprised than have high expectations that hardly anyone can meet. i wouldn't even be able to meet my own expectations... and that's crazy.

so, while i was walking, the Lord gently reminded me... "your faith is not in man but in me." that's a good thing too. because even though we have the capacity to love, we'll never fully love like Jesus until we're made like Him. of course the more we grow in Him, the better we get at it, but we'll never love like we should 100% of the time until we're home.

i'm glad He constantly reminds me that He's the only one who can satisfy this hole in my heart that's been here since the beginning so i can have grace for people. i want more grace. and i want to love people even when i don't feel loved by them.

if you're reading this, pray for me. i've been seeking direction, and i know i probably need to take the first step (that's usually the way it goes), but i'm still unsure of what that step is. so... i'm waiting... and learning a lot in the meantime.

...and that's all i've got today.

:)