come as close as You want...

i was driving home from work one night when i was still living in Birmingham well over a year ago, and this phrase just came to me...

don't hand your heart to someone who can't feel the weight of it.

i knew it had to be from the Lord, because i couldn't come up with it on my own.

as i was sitting at my desk at work yesterday, i heard it again, and it took on a whole new meaning. i'm in a different place now than i was before, and for the first time, i'm learning how to trust someone else with my heart.

i've always trusted the Lord with my heart. i'm fully known by Him. He knows everything about me and loves me perfectly despite my shortcomings. but when it comes to trusting others, i'm hesitant. maybe hesitant is an understatement... and maybe it's more like resistant.

yes. resistant.

i've spent the majority of my life guarding my heart, and i've always counted that as a good thing until now.

i don't want to be misunderstood... guarding our hearts is a good thing. our hearts are so valuable and do not need to be placed in the hands of ones who don't recognize their worth. i just think that while trying to protect myself, walls have been built that are difficult to tear down. insecurities that have built up over time make their way to the surface and lie to me.

but i do know that just within the last few months, the Lord has taken the insecurities i've given him and restored me. and i also know that He will continue restoring and healing me until i'm with Him.

and that someone who's come along that's worth giving my heart to... he's patient and realizes this is all a process.

our hearts are big. our hearts are sometimes heavy. our hearts can hurt. our hearts are to be prized. we need to know whoever we hand them to will be careful with them.

perfect love casts out all fear.

oh, that we could love like we are loved... to the end.

to the end.

come as close as You want

consume this heart that longs to burn

i know Your fire can hurt

but i would be worse here without You

for i was made to dwell with you

and how i ache until i do

Holy God take my heart

purge with flame and truth

a holy heart is all i want

that i may live with you

come and take all these chains

that get in the way of what You want

as i stand in the flame

still i will say i trust You God

-misty edwards