the right time for Love is now.

it's 3:41am and i'm wide awake. it's a good thing i've coined today as "Get-out-of-bed-whenever-i-want-to-and-stay-in-my-pajamas-all-day Day."

it seems like i haven't really written in ages. though the excuse of not having enough time to write just isn't sufficient (considering i only work 3 days out of the week and haven't had to study 'til an unGodly hour in way too long), the words just haven't come--and i don't have the smarts to create them on my own. if you are guessing the previous statement about studying might have a hint of sarcasm in it, you are 99%... (ok, maybe 95%)...*drum roll*... WRONG.

i, in fact, miss school. i miss learning.

so, i'm going back this summer. i have two classes left to take before i can apply to OT school! Gadsden State offers one of them online, and i'm hoping JSU offers the other one. i have to say, it feels extremely good to have a plan.

...and now i'm well aware my plan could disintegrate before my very eyes, and i'm okay with it. i think that's part of the reason i've gone through this period of feeling like i don't know anything and wondering where this road is going to lead. i needed to know in my heart that when my plans fail, His will still be carried out. realizing that i don't want to go to medical school has freed me. all of those times i asked Him why the process couldn't be a little easier have lead me here. now i'm able to look at my own story and see how He's bringing beauty from the ashes.

i've been reading some of what i've written in the past few years, and it's safe to say the recurring theme is love. since it is February (i'm usually not a fan of the whole 'love month'/Valentine's idea), i thought i'd post some excerpts throughout the month.

i, being my own worst critic, always think someone else can say it better. let's face it--someone can always say it better. my words are mediocre and don't seem to have the effect i want them to, but insecurity isn't a valid reason to say nothing at all. so, here are some of my old words. i'm praying He gives me the heart i had back then.

and just for the record, you may have to remind me about my previous 'i miss school' statement once classes are back in full force. i knew i'd regret those words as i was typing them.