my dream

I hear so many people talking about dreams and destiny, and those are two words I love. I do. I've always been a dreamer, and we are all called to do something big. I used to dream about finding a man who loves me for me. I used to dream of traveling the world and seeing all the beautiful places. I used to dream of being a doctor because... 'a girl with canes being told she can't CAN!' I used to dream of proving myself.. of being known by others as selfless while sacrificing all I have to give.

But my dream has changed. My something big IS big, but it's way different than what I once thought. It's loving my husband for my whole life while serving the Lord with him and someday having a little boy or girl or both and learning and growing while I watch them learn and grow. It's enjoying the simple things in life and being completely present. It's soaking up the process and not being so focused on the end result. And it's being completely content with what I have because the Lord has been so good to me. If I live out these dreams that may look small typed out on this page, I will change the world.

I was told a few months ago that I can't currently lead worship through singing because they couldn't see any room for a stool on stage in such a high energy environment, and I'll be honest, this completely hurt my feelings. My mind gave in to the offended mentality for awhile, but I'm not offended anymore. I have no doubt that I'm meant for a different purpose during this time, and if the Lord never wants me to sing on a stage again, that's fine by me.

Because it's not about a stage. It's not about me. 

And just as a disclaimer, I'm not using this blog as a way to vent any ill feelings toward anyone. I don't have any ill feelings because the Lord has changed my perspective. He can find purpose in it all.

See... the Lord wanted me to learn more about his heart for people, and he wanted me to understand how to identify with him more. Jesus knows about the whole rejection thing, and He is filled with so much compassion. If we were never rejected, we would never be able to experience the irresistible love of Jesus. He has come to save us over and over again from ourselves, because that's the real problem anyway. Ourselves.

Thank you, Jesus, for giving us new dreams. It really is true that your ways are higher than ours. These words are just words until you make them alive in our hearts. 

And we are never the same.