above all else

this week's been full of ups and downs, and if i'm honest, more downs than ups. but today... it's been good.

and even though i'm sure i'll go back and forth in my mind a thousand times after i type this, i've decided something while staring at this computer of mine tonight. i don't ever want to take the easy way out.

i mean... obviously, my flesh will 'want' to... our pride always tells us we should.

go with the flow.

break some hearts but never get yours broke.

cut and run.

no strings attached.

anger is better than tears.

but why can't we just be real with ourselves and with the people around us? whatever happened to honesty... putting everything on the line no matter what the cost? i'm aware the truth can hurt, but it sure as heck beats a lie. we can talk about honesty and how great it is till Jesus comes, but if we don't actually live it, the talk is worth nothing.

i've done enough pretending in my lifetime.. even in the name of good intention. i'm not settling anymore.

you know the great thing about my relationship with God? when i'm with Him, i become more of who i was created to be. more myself.

His secret purpose framed from the very beginning [is] to bring us to our full glory.

I Corinthians 2:7 NEB

in her book, one thousand gifts, Ann Voskamp phrases it like this: 'He means to rename us---to return us to our true names, our truest selves. He means to heal our soul holes. from the very beginning, that Eden beginning, that has always been and always is, to this day, His secret purpose---our return to our full glory. Appalling---that He would! us, unworthy. and yet since we took a bite out of the fruit and tore into our own souls, that drain hole where joy seeps away, God's had this wild secretive plan. He means to fill us with glory again. with glory and grace.'

His pursuit of me has never been more real to me than now. He's given me dreams and words from others and thoughts and peace. what the enemy means for evil, He turns around for good. the enemy has this way of twisting the truth just enough to use it to his advantage. but God is fighting for us---for me. and He wins every single time.

obedience is hard... especially when we leave behind places and people we've loved for so long. but He gives us the grace to obey. we could never do it on our own. me, especially.

it's all about Jesus.

above all else... Jesus.