and yes, i'm very excited. i am SO ready to be married, i'm just not crazy about the whole 'getting ready for it' thing. i know most girls dream of their weddings from the time they are born, but i just wasn't one of them. i didn't have my wedding dress picked out (and still don't), i didn't have the flowers, colors, the food, and the bazillion other details in order, and i didn't have the boy i was going to marry in mind... even though i think i did say i was going to marry Ben Brewer in 4th grade. i'm pretty sure every one of the girls in my 4th grade class said those words at least once in her 4th grade career.
since i still don't have many of the details of my wedding planned out, i'll just take this time to talk about the man i'll be joining in marriage. Kevin Hanner.
oh... Kevin.
a big 'thank you' goes out to my best friend, Kimberly, now. she's the reason i met Kevin that weekend in November of 2011 at the irish bred pub. it was a few days before my birthday, and i had just ended a year and a half relationship. the break-up was hard, for sure, but it was the first time in months that i felt relief. between the tears, i felt so much peace. i knew i had made the right decision. Kimberly had mentioned Kevin a few times in conversation, and i had known he was friends with her and Travis, but that was it. she had told both me and Kevin that she wasn't setting us up (and it's good she did, because i can honestly say at that moment in my life i cared less about meeting another boy than i have ever cared less about anything). all i remember about the night i met him is ordering shrimp and grits, still being hungry after i ate my little bowl of food (that i'm still positive was just a side dish), Kevin sharing a bite of his sandwich with me, not talking much, and thinking it was nice when he opened Kimberly's car door for me when we left. i have to give credit where credit is due, and apparently Kimberly is a genius. after that night there was no turning back. we went four-wheeling the next day, and the rest is history.
good history, though.
Kevin got my digits, started texting me, called me a few days later, and he has called me every day since. we had talked every day since we met, but it wasn't till February of 2012 (the 12th to be exact) he 'officially' asked me to be his girlfriend. i think i said yes before he even finished the question. it was that day i decided to trust fully again. [of course, there was that time about a month later that i had a minor freak-out and broke up with him for about three weeks. i was scared, i cried, he cried, and i was miserable every day until i asked him to take me back. he did.]
but Kevin... he's just a really amazing person to know and teaches me something new every day. and i don't even care how cheesy this sounds right now because it's 100% truth. i never could imagine being my complete self with anyone until him.
i could say a lot about my past, but i don't have the desire to say anything about it except that i'm thankful for all the hard times because it makes the present that much more special. i wouldn't know what i have now if i hadn't gone without it for so long.
Kevin is genuine. he doesn't do what is right for show but because he knows it's the right thing to do. he's a private person and he lets very few see all the different aspects of him. he would do just about anything for anyone. he has the most tender heart. he took care of his grandparents until they each took their last breath, and he wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world. a couple times i've mentioned feeling bad about him spending the majority of his life physically taking care of them and now taking care of me too (you know... us women sometimes get emotional and make really upside-down statements from time to time), but he doesn't see me as a burden but as a gift. he doesn't see having to carry me from time to time as a discomfort but as something he loves to do. i have never felt as safe as i do when i'm with him because i know he'll always do everything in his power to protect me. Kevin loves making my life easier, but he also pushes me to be better. he is probably the smartest guy i know. give him a couple parts and he can build something with them (yes... just two). he's actually planning on building me some training wheels pretty soon so we can ride bikes together. i never learned to ride a bike without them, but i used to ride the crap out of mine with the extra wheels when i was 7 or 8ish. my goal is to learn to ride a bike without them; however, if you pass us by on our county road come April and you think for a split second that you've seen something you're not quite sure of... you've made no mistake. you've just seen a 29-year-old zoom by with life-size training wheels. Kevin loves me for who i am. and he listens. man, does he listen. i can tell him my true feelings and he doesn't withdraw or back away. he comes closer. he drives out all the fear, but he also claims that he's not perfect and puts everything into perspective for me. his pursuit of me reminds me of Jesus. Kevin is my sunshine, every day, and he makes my life so much brighter than it was before. oh, and he's freakin' hilarious.
okay... i knew i would get carried away, so i'm stopping. right now.
to sum it all up: Mrs. Emily Hanner on April 5th, 2014! YAY!
