Happy 5th!

I should already be asleep, but for some reason I felt the urge to write a blog instead. I'm so tired I can hardly stand it and I basically can't move without a not-so-pleasant look on my face and lots of grimacing. Either I'm getting too old or I just forgot how sore tubing on the lake (with Bennett driving) makes me.

So I woke up this morning and my bottom lip was swollen. I had fun at the lake yesterday and all, but it wasn't that wild of a time... no fist fighting or anything. But I just figured it out.

Ants. All up in my bed. My mom said I left a wrapper of some sort (cough cough oatmeal creme pie cough cough) and apparently the ants loved what remained. Oopsie. I don't think I'll ever grow up. Crap... and I just saw another one. I had to squish him on my computer. His friends better not be looking for him tonight.

Oh well... the 4th was a good time. I spent the day with my family (Bethany and Kevin included) on Lake Martin. I'm pretty sure I could stay in that little cabin for at least half a year without ever leaving (except to go in the water) and be just fine. And like always, I didn't take any pictures. Don't get me wrong... I love pictures... it's just that half the time I forget to take them and the other half I don't want to. A lot of times we're too caught up in looking like we're having fun that we forget to actually have fun. So lately I've just been enjoying life. No pictures. Just life.

I do wish I had gotten a picture of the fireworks though. They were pretty! Especially my favorites... those white, sparkly ones that shimmer and fall down and look kind of like palm trees. I guess I'll just have to get a few of the ones Kev took on his phone to post. Oh, and Bethany took pictures yesterday too! I'll get her to send me some. See... I'm covered. I love the people in my life. :)

Here IS one picture I took at Mamaw's tonight. This was after I laughed so hard at Mamaw I nearly peed myself. Someone dialed the wrong number and called her cell phone, and at one point, I thought they might talk all night. Then the lady called back. By the time the conversations were over, they knew more about each other than I thought possible from two 3-4 minute conversations.

I can only hope my smile brings as much joy to someone as this one does to me.

no time for pictures

i remember the time
so used to being disappointed
up until now

i pinch myself at times
seeing if it's really this real
it's finally real

i long for this time
fast, slow, and sometimes standing still
catching me by surprise

there's no time
no time for pictures
just time for moments with you

the lowdown

sorry this post will be disappointing to some, but i'm making it a point not to share any work stories this go around. i'm sure i could conjure one up if i thought for a second, but it's 11:38pm, i'm tired, and i don't feel like thinking hard enough to include those real descriptive words that make something funny just a little funnier (not that i ever exaggerate or anything).

i guess i should be studying my newly borrowed GRE book (thanks, Gabrielle!), but i decided to blog instead. so thoughtful of me, right? i know all of you are dying for some more of these words of mine.

actually, tonight i'm feeling all talked out, so here are just a few pics to give you the lowdown.

meet the Boulevard. 

and that back seat is mine.

and my guy who drives this thing is pretty cool too. :)

if you haven't met him, you should.

i also drive around Gadsden on occasion stalking this...

i'm not sure what holiday the owners are celebrating here, but it definitely beat all the eggs dangling from the ceiling this past Easter.

 and, hey, they are Bama fans. they've got my support.

and here's my favorite couple.

there's not much better than hanging out with these folks.

i'm so thankful i still can.

 i think i will tomorrow.

and the rest will just have to wait. my eyes are closing, and i still have one more day of work for the week! yes... one! friday we leave for andalusia for some camping and ATV riding. i'm pretty pumped.

no worries, i'll be sure and take pictures.

night, y'all.

how i went a-wall on my printer.

i lost my patience on my printer today at work. i think i might have said the 's' word under my breath a few times, and my co-worker might have heard me. oopsie. no worries though... she understood. we probably registered a total of ten patients together because our printers kept jamming every 0.2 seconds. the facesheets would print on the labels, the labels would print on the plain letter paper, the consent forms... well, you get the picture.

huge. jumbled. mess.

at least today i didn't completely embarrass myself like i did last week. a lady was sitting directly in front of me at my desk, and as i proceeded with all the typical, personal questions i have to ask to do my job, it happened. my printer jammed.

i was sitting in my chair and bent over to try and rummage around and move papers and trays and slam drawers, and all of a sudden, i fell further forward. i had been leaning on part of the printer that gave way, and i was 99% close to falling face first out of my chair. after the huge banging noise of the printer and my almost fall, both me and my patient  were pretty on edge. then... something even worse happened. i drooled. drool actually came out of my mouth---rolled down off my lips and onto the floor.

i guess i had been leaning down with my mouth open for so long that i just couldn't help myself?

i just couldn't recover after that. i didn't even laugh. i just hurriedly finished her paperwork and got her out the door.

my printer may be the death of me.

1-800-BADMEDICINE

i haven't written much lately... except little tidbits every now and then in the journal that resides on my bedside table, and it's usually understood to be reserved for significant things (although the older i get i'm learning the little things are, in fact, the big things). so here's one big thing to me: i am officially going to be a student again as of may 30th!

so as i type (and answer phone calls, of course), i'm sitting in PBX at the hospital (also known as the 'operator' room) working some OT. i guess a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. other than hanging up on the occasional caller, sometimes on accident and sometimes on purpose, it's not too dreadful.

example:

me: operator.
psych patient: 1-800-badmedicine.
me: excuse me?
psych patient: 1-800-badMEDICINE.
me: do what?
psych patient: I SAID 1-800-BADMEDICINE!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: *CLICK*

i have a considerable amount of patience, but i don't deal very well with people screaming in my ear.

with that being said, i have more motivation than i've had in a long time. for the first time in quite awhile, i feel like i'm on to something.

it's about durn time.

find me where He is.

he reminded me of a remote island you see in the distance

the sky or ocean separating you from that heart-shaped place
something fruitful must reside there but it appears so desolate
side by side, but a thousand miles between


he spoke with words and a voice everyone wanted to hear
and not just hear but listen to, ingest, and remember
he must have been speaking from his head back to his heart
or maybe his declarations were just sounds to him with no meaning
high frequency waves so believable that he fooled himself

and then there's you, polar opposite

emotionally available and unafraid, non-resistant and aware

occupying the tender places with the perfect balance of silence and meaning

___________________________________________

but where is He in all of this?

without Him here with us, the good isn't even that good.

and it's certainly not worth anything.

and i'm worth something, and so are you.

i'm praying you search for Him and let Him find you.

then you can find me and the person you were always meant to be.

Jesus went to church on Sunday

sat in the back and sang the hymns

Jesus went to church on Sunday

but they didn't recognize him, and He said...

you can lay your burden down

you can lay your burden down

oh, maybe you've been kicked around

but you can lay your burden down

-trevor morgan

lost but Found

i share at least two qualities with taylor swift: i have her curly hair and i write honestly (minus the names). if you know me even just a little bit, you don't have to wonder long what's going on in my life if you read what i have to say. when speaking aloud my words get jumbled together, for sure, but on paper the truth comes out. and usually without the whole going around in circles thing.

from a few months ago...

well, this time i done some thinking

and i think i'm done with you

'cause until i get to leaving

it's just the same old me too

well, your mama's gonna cry her eyes

there ain't gonna be no wedding day

what's she gonna say?

when i tell her how i had no choice

the same old you couldn't even raise your voice

and ask me to stay

i wouldn't anyway

...to now

just like the fringe on my boots

you move with every step i take

you walk in front of me to make sure

that i don't fall and break my own heart

'cause with you i could never

just like the leather on my saddle

we get prettier with time

together in the weather

shiny on the other side

polished and changed for the better

with you i'm safe

i follow you just like a shadow

only closer

and if you get tied and bound

i'll find a way to free your hands

i'll wash them clean

of everything but me

sometimes you might get thirsty

so i'll catch the rain

just like the ice in your glass

i'll rattle when you need a drink

you'll never run dry of love or anything

you make me feel like i'm the only girl in the whole wide world

i wanna hold you like a handful of diamonds and pearls

that i guard with my life or die trying

i'll keep you safe

so there's my story in the words of miranda lambert. this time, i think her words do my story much more justice than mine could. i've lost but also found. and those lies, they continued to push and push and push me until i had nowhere else to go but away. sometimes it takes the bad to realize you've got something better. and the better makes you better too... feeling more special, more taken care of, more yourself, and more at home.

...everything is better with you.