e.e. cummings

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
wich is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

short circuits

equations i learned today...

1. power (P) = current (i) x voltage (V)
2. voltage (V) = current (i) x resistance (R)
3. charge (Q) = capacitance (C) x voltage (V)

conclusions i made today...

1. resistors and capacitors are stupid.
2. resistors in a series are added, and resistors in parallel are divided.
3. capacitors are like resistors except completely opposite.
4. i must be a capacitor, because i can hold lots of energy!
5. physics is the most logical yet most incomprehensible thing to me.
6.physics may be good for the brain, but it's bad for my complexion.

eurotrip

i don't like planning. i've never been a planner, an organizer, or a facilitator in any sense of the words. i'm the kind of person who makes decisions as they need to be made. i despise deadlines and abhor itineraries. i have a general idea of where i'm going but can't tell you for sure until i get there.

with all that said, i'm planning a european trip... over a year in advance. why, you may ask?
1) ...because i really need something to look forward to.
2) ...because europe is the exception to all of the rules.
3) ...because it will be mom's first time abroad, and she has to love it as much as i do.

first, we have to decide on a destination. we're looking at spending 12-14 days traveling.

any suggestions?

He is alive.

extremely condensed version of my day:

perfume. happy easter texts. basket full of candy. "the desert song" by hillsong on the way to church. lots of familiar faces. rachel and gabrielle. hearing adrian sing. hugs. scarf. comfort food. A, B, and C (the boys, not the first three letters of the alphabet). mamaw's first easter basket. egg hunts. children. yellow and orange tulips. golf. my second family. cotton candy. the beginning plans of next summer's Europe trip. blessed assurance, Jesus is mine.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead..." I Peter 1:3

You'll be my weeping willow.

weeping willow, may i sit under your shade?
reality looks me square in the eyes,
she's so hard to face sometimes.
let your tears fall where they will,
they'll wash the cynicism from my mind.

whispering willow, why do you stand here in the waste land?
you envelope me in a peaceful embrace,
i won't paint you among the graves this time.
tomorrow the mourning will come,
but tonight sing to me a deathless song.

graceful willow, how do your roots run so deep?
your arms cover the brokenhearted,
twirling delicately about me as i sleep.
i'm under nature's own ballerina,
and she's dancing to the rhythm of my dreams.

vulnerable willow, when will the sun's light seep through?
you've made yourself transparent,
allowing me to tread upon thoughts from you.
i'll come forth from within as the dawn breaks,
healed and starting anew.

(c) 2009

i must not be a hood rat.

today at work, erik coached me some more on my rapping abilities. i have the beat down, but i don't sound "hard" enough. in this context, i'm concluding that hard is used to describe someone who is gangsta/from the streets/always getting their hustle on/keeping it real. the rap i'm learning goes something like this...

"i've been up and i've been down, beat to the ground but God pulled me out now. the bridge i traveled shattered like glass. the road i was on is not the right path. the only faith i had was in a girl named Faith, and He snatched that Faith away from me, told me the faith i need is in a G-O-D... so listen up.."

...and the rest of the lyrics are yet to come. i just have to memorize and conquer them first. between russell banging on his keyboard and mine and erik's jam sessions, the labfirst admitting area is rarely quiet. i guess i'll continue with my progress tomorrow.

have i mentioned that i love the words "hood rat?" i have latarian milton to thank for that.

watch: latarian milton

the space between

nothing significant has occurred in the last couple of days, so here's another poem. i guess i could write for awhile about life, love, and other mysteries, but i'm meeting a boy for coffee in 45 minutes and have accomplished nothing in regards to my goal of getting myself out the door.

space is the time it takes to move freely again without wondering what went wrong
and sometimes space fills the empty pages or breaks the silence so the words can do no harm
a place available for a particular purpose, knowing it will not be vacant for very long

a space between notes is enough time to enjoy the one before and anticipate the one to come
one can get lost in it, not even sure of the melody or the lyrics making up the song
space is the unlimited realm in which all things occur or the thing one needs to be alone

space allows, understands, and does not interfere with the letters on either side of its walls
it gives the freedom to express oneself and brings the words held back for too long
space is the illusion of depth around us while the Best has reached out to save us all

space brings forgetfulness along with forgiveness by allowing us to finally be free again
it takes us from our surroundings and gives us to somewhere, or better yet, to Someone new
even as the longed for uncertainty captures us, we know that this is not the end

in space, minutes and hours come and go without leaving even a trace of them behind
an interval of time that can seem like forever but in reality be faster than a blink of an eye
for now i will keep this space between us and do nothing other than look up to the sky
(c) 2009

but the space between where you're smilin' high
is where you'll find me if i get to go
the space between the bullets in our firefight
is where i'll be hiding, waiting for you

the rain that falls splash in your heart
ran like sadness down the window into your room
the space between our wicked lies
is where we hope to keep safe from pain

take my hand 'cause we're walking out of here
oh, right out of here, love is all we need, dear

the space between what's wrong and right
is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
the space between your heart and mine
is the space we'll fill with time
-dave matthews band