oh, Greece

i love when the moon is full. i usually notice the moon at night, but particularly when it's full. tonight it reminded me of Greece. one night when we were in Ithaca (...or another one of the many islands we went to that all seem to be spelled similarly), Gabrielle's dad took about 239,234 pictures of the moon. it was surrounded by clouds and reflecting off of the water that was filled with hundreds of cute, colorful boats. it was so pretty. i need to go back there soon. since i can't find the picture i took of the moon that night, a picture of the boats will do.

back to You..

back to you
it always comes around
back to you
i tried to forget you
i tried to stay away
but it's too late

over you
i'm never over
over you

something about you

it's just the way you move
the way you move me

oh, i'm so good at forgetting
and i quit every game i play
but forgive me, love
i can't turn and walk away
-john mayer

the clouds are parting
the sky is slowly turning from grey back to blue
the sun is shining in
the branches break and fall like the chains that held me to you

the leaves are changing
my dreams are rising as the breeze stirs them up
the flowers dance about me
the birds' song playing in the background is more than enough

...if you told me then this day would come
i would have said you were hopeful
ask me now how much stronger i've become
they were right when they discovered..
it's all in time
(c) 2009

reading + riding - arithmetic

this picture reminded me of where i will be in a little over a month, and it made me happy! it also reminded me that i need to start looking for a sundress and a big hat to wear to the Golden Cup.

Jesse told me this weekend that he wants me to plan to spend a whole day with him at his granddad's ranch. he wants me to help them work cows. he might even teach me how to rope, although i would be perfectly fine just watching.

oh, and i'm officially a reader again. i decided this weekend i'm going to take the time to start reading something besides my Biology book and Bible (even those should continue to take priority). i used to be an avid reader. i remember my mom taking me to the library when i was younger, coming back two hours later to pick me up, and still not giving me enough time to pick my ten books out. thankfully, my friend Mollie is now a librarian. she's going to create a reading list for me and save me lots of time. i feel smarter already.

my word for the day is: meandering.

the perfect Love

yesterday was a hard day. i walked in Gran and Grandaddy's house for the last time. i know they are gone, but there is something about going back to that place where so many memories were first born. i could still smell them. when we drove away, i could almost see them standing outside the door waving goodbye like they always did. the house is now empty, but my heart will never be. i love them both so much. i wish i could tell them one more time here on earth, but i will be seeing them again. this is something i wrote a few days after my grandmother finally went to her home above...

i want to love. really love.

i want the kind of love that only Jesus can give. the kind of love that is unconditional. the world cannot take unconditional love away.. because it's commitment. it's forever.. and we cannot really even understand it until He teaches us about it. He teaches us about this love through His Word and through the cross of Jesus.

i'm tired of seeing the temporary happiness that overwhelms this world. i want to see the real thing.. love overflowing. i do know what real Love is, and He is inside of me. i just want to come to a better understanding of Him.

as i wear this ring that symbolizes the love that my grandparents shared throughout their years on earth together, i want it to remind me how important it is to be committed. committed to family.. to friends.. but most of all.. to my Maker. i believe He wants us to find love on earth as He loves His bride, and i pray that i won't settle for anything that doesn't come from Him. i can't...

my grandparents were the two most committed people i've ever seen on this earth. they were committed to the Lord.. to their church.. to their family and friends.. and to each other. they loved each other unconditionally. i am so blessed to have had them in my life for so long to teach me a little more about love. remembering them makes me long to love like they did.

although my grandmother was buried thursday, she really died when my grandfather did in april. she didn't want to live anymore. she didn't have the will to fight death. she kept saying.. "it's time for me to go home. i want to see him." she couldn't bear to live this life without the one who had made a covenant with her. they shared a love that doesn't come from this world. they experiences real love.

i want to be taught more about this love, so that i can give it away. i want a love that is steadfast and secure. a love that brings no guilt or shame. until i find love on earth.. and even then.. i'm setting my eyes on Jesus.. the perfect love.

perfect love casts out all fear.

i really need this love.

Your Joy, it comes with the light..

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
John 16:33

many times, i'm inspired by a song or by nature... or even by a dream. today i was inspired by two people. one has been my best friend for a couple of years, and the other one i have never even met. one had finally set his heart on something he thought was his destiny. today, he found out his plans and the goals he had for himself can no longer be carried out the way he wanted them to because of his past. the other may be fighting for her life tomorrow. her disease is making her so weak that she is now questioning whether she will ever be able to lead the life she's always thought of.

the suffering isn't what inspires me. the way they handle the inevitable is what i love. after telling my friend not to give up, he stated, "who said anything about giving up? the apostle Paul had a lot to deal with too, ya know? i still love life!" i'm glad he sees the big picture and his hope isn't bound to his circumstances. and no matter what his past looks like, the Lord's blood, grace, and mercy cover him now.

and for the other.. she may be questioning, but she sure isn't giving up. she gets up, goes to school every day, struggles to have the energy to take a test, and talks about where she hopes to go next. she knows she has no other choice. besides, none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. i'm thankful our time here is only a flash compared to eternity.

Let this be the only love song I write
May You be the only Love in my life
I asked You to draw me, I said I would run
So though I walk through the valley, yet will I trust
I asked You to call me, I said I would come
So though I go up the mountain, yet will I run

Though my song be taken from me
Yet will I sing; yet will I praise You
Though the joy be taken from me
Yet will I laugh; yet will I shout unto You
Though the light be hidden from me
Yet will I walk; yet will I run after You
Though my heart be slain within me
Yet will I trust; yet will I follow You

‘Cause I know whatever You do, You do through the eyes of mercy
And nothing can be added to it, nothing can be taken away
There is a time for every purpose under the heavens
So though my weeping may last for the night
Oh how Your joy, it comes with the light
-Audra Lynn

Twitter!

www.twitter.com

this site is pretty awesome.. and pretty addicting. anyone who hasn't checked it out should. it makes me feel like everyone in the world is one big, happy family. i get to know what's going on in everyone's life without even being nosy!

today at work...
erik: "who are you reading texts from, Emily?"
me: "ohh.. John Mayer and Ashton Kutcher."

so, yeah. you should check it out.

tweet, tweet.

God loves my heart.

i had a dream last night that an old friend gave me a tattoo. it was going down the backside of my arm and read, "God loves your heart." (Mom, don't worry.. i'm not getting any more tattoos). i just love the way He encourages me. sometimes i wonder how He can love me. i feel so unworthy, and i feel like my heart is no longer pure... like it ever was. that's the beautiful thing about it all. we are unworthy and have never been pure, but He sees us this way because of His blood that covers us. His blood covers my heart and He sees me as holy.

gabrielle made me a CD today with this song on it. His timing is perfect. i love the words..

i can't understand this work of grace
how a perfect God would come and take my place

i can't understand this work of grace
how a perfect God would come and take my place

the stars they don't move you
the waves can't undo you
the mountains in their splendor
they cannot steal your heart

this God who is holy
perfect in beauty
awesome in glory
is ravished by my heart

though i'm poor you say i'm lovely
though i'm dark you say i am beautiful

somehow my weak glance, it overwhelms you
somehow my weak love, it has stolen away your heart
-sarah edwards